Happy Holidays!

I hope that everyone had a happy Thanksgiving and that you had an opportunity to share some fun times with those who are special to you. The holidays are difficult for me and I try to stay positive to the maximum extent possible. I truly have much to be thankful for, but the wonderful memories of the past always come flooding back in. We will certainly make new memories, but I often find myself with tears in my eyes when I see how Judi is today and remember the ball of energy she was during the holiday season. Having my brother and his wife with us for Thanksgiving was definitely a treat and we had a great meal and enjoyed just hanging out together.

Judi is still trying hard to tell me something. She is becoming more and more vocal, but can't seem to get her tongue and lips coordinated to make the sounds into words. We'll keep working here.

We did go to the Manheim Steamroller concert and Judi had a great time there. She stayed tuned in for the entire concert and her right foot didn't stop the whole time. When her neck got tired, she pulled my hand under her chin to help hold up her head so I know she was tuned in. When I asked her later if she enjoyed the music, she quickly signed yes. It was great to see her smile and just re-enforced the fact that she is still in there.

Judi was discharged from outpatient therapy due to lack of participation/progress as anticipated in the last post. One side of me understands this, but the other side sees it as the system condemning Judi to never walking, talking or functioning again by saying "we're done with you." I suspect everyone already knows that I will never let that happen. We'll just have to pick up the therapy at home to the best of our ability until we can get her back to the point where she can go back to therapy. She finished the last of the antibiotic treatments last week (after 3.5 months) and I can tell she already feels better. She is starting to feed herself periodically and if she repeats her previous pattern, she will get better and better as she recognizes the independence it brings.

We have several doctor appointments over the next few weeks and I hope to get a lot of information/results from them. She is scheduled for a swallow study on Monday to see if we can identify any issues and to determine the types of foods/liquids she can tolerate. This study is different from the ones that were done previously using a fluoroscope and watching as food treated with barium moved through her system. This one uses a camera that is threaded through her nose and can look directly at what is going on in her throat. I am sure I will have my hands full during that test. She will get botox again in her left arm in an attempt to reduce the contractions there. We have done this before with limited success, but maybe this one will be the charm. She will also get her first CT scan since leaving the hospital and I need all of you to pray that it will be clear of any issues. If all is well, we will be able to start the work necessary to get her prosthesis designed and built. We also have a neurologist appointment and I am looking to have her anti-seizure medication dose reduced. The NF and supplements I have her on should allow us to reduce them with little risk of seizure, but we will have to do this slow and methodically to make sure she is not at risk. The reduction in medication may increase her energy level as well.

Judi is still struggling to keep her head up on a routine basis. It comes and goes, but I believe it is more mental than physical and we just have to get her to "want" to keep her head up. I keep encouraging her here, but I often get the "stink eye" when I nag her too much. We have to watch this because it can become a physical issue if it goes on too long.

Time continues to be our most precious commodity. My problem continues to be that I have more "to do list" than I have time to get it done. This leaves me with a constant feeling lately of being overwhelmed. Those of you that know me, know it takes a lot to make me feel that way. I just want to make sure that I do everything humanly possibly to give Judi a chance to recover. I mention this because I continue to need your help. It has been a year and a half since Judi's accident and I know that she is not as prominent in your thoughts as she used to be. That's perfectly normal and expected. I think all of us know that it will take a miracle for Judi to return to us. I for one believe in miracles and have already witnessed a few in my lifetime. I also believe in the power of prayer. That's where I need your help the most. Please make an extra effort to remember Judi in your prayers as we enter the holiday season. If you get a few minutes to come by and see her, do that as well. You just might be the one who makes the difference. I still have the feeling that she is desperately trying to cross over and come back to us and all she needs is that one thing to help her break through.


Thanx again for everything,
Steve

PS - Just for the record: I ain't heard no fat lady singing!